


Lacuna (The Space Between Reincarnation Remix)

by glim



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age of Sail, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Space, Camelot Remix, M/M, Memories, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 23:05:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6586471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glim/pseuds/glim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Arthur lets the moment slip away; if Merlin cannot remember him, cannot remember the lifetimes they've spent together and the ones they've spent apart, then Arthur will remember for both of them.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lacuna (The Space Between Reincarnation Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wyvern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvern/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Space Inbetween](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4630053) by [wyvern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvern/pseuds/wyvern). 



> Wyvern, I enjoyed reading so many of your works! It was difficult to choose one of your stories to remix. I hope you like what I've done with this one. I'm in love with the idea of Arthur as the captain of any ship, so I had to play around with that idea a little bit. Thank you for sharing your works with the fandom. <3 
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful last minute beta reader <3

_i._

Arthur watches Merlin for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, before he walks down to his ship. Merlin doesn't hear or see him, doesn't even sense that Arthur is near, and a thrill of pleasure shivers up Arthur's spine to know he has this moment, quiet and quick, to himself. 

He'll hold it over Merlin later, how he saw him waiting, how he saw the tension, the uncertainty, the nervousness in the way Merlin paced before the ship, how he could tell that Merlin thought Arthur had forgotten about him. 

Because, in truth, it is Merlin (it's always Merlin, and only Merlin) who can hold something over him, and that something is this: 

Arthur longs for Merlin, longs for him as he longs for the vast stretch of the sea and the sound of the waves, long for his touch and the feel of his body, the warmth of his hands and the salt-sweet scent of his skin. He longs for Merlin the way he longs for half-forgotten memories and half-faded dreams; the memory of a life he lost, a dream he never had the chance to fulfill. 

"Well, then," Arthur says before he lets his heart catch up with him. "You came. Does your mother know you're here?"

Merlin shakes his head. "She's with my uncle. But--but she knows. She knows the _Avalon_ sets sail today. She knows you're leaving." 

"Aha. But I don't suppose she has any idea why you'd be leaving, too?" Arthur asks, and leans in closer to Merlin. 

He's only a boy yet, but after a couple weeks at sea, he'll leave his boyhood behind. He'll be years older once he's far from home, and more than that, he'll be Arthur's. 

So Arthur promises him a thousand nights at sea, promises Merlin far-off lands and the tang of the sea breeze. He promises he'll take Merlin to his bed every night and that nobody else will be allowed to touch his boy; Arthur promises him all this because he cannot bear to promise Merlin his heart. 

_ii._

"Come with me," Arthur says. He's sprawled out on the bed next to Merlin, stroking Merlin's chest and telling him about the series of flights that will take him away from England. 

Merlin laughs and shakes his head. "And do what? I'm an aircraft mechanic, Arthur. I'm just--"

"Not just," Arthur says and leans in to kiss Merlin, kiss him fiercely and openly, because he can feel something strange and strong rise up in his chest. 

Merlin leans out of the kiss, breathless and flushed, and he glances away shyly when Arthur touches his chest. 

The moment trembles between them; Arthur almost speaks, nearly tells Merlin why he always comes back to Merlin (only to Merlin, lifetime after lifetime), why he can divide the past four years of his into nights he's spent with Merlin and nights he's spent longing to be with him. 

But Arthur lets the moment slip away; if Merlin cannot remember him, cannot remember the lifetimes they've spent together and the ones they've spent apart, then Arthur will remember for both of them. 

"Not just," Merlin repeats, his voice soft and uncertain this time, and when he looks up at Arthur, he looks different. 

Older, Arthur realizes. He was a boy when Arthur found him, already the best mechanic the airfield had. He was really only a boy then, nimble fingers and bright blue eyes and a touch that would make any engine purr to life as if by magic. 

"You don't need to wait for me," Arthur says. The words come out in a sudden rush so that he cannot take them back. 

"But I will. You know I will. I always do." 

Another trembling moment, and a flicker of light in Merlin's eyes. Arthur knows that even if Merlin doesn't remember, even if he'll never remember, there is something timeless between them, something beyond memory and magic. 

"You do. Oh god, you do..." Arthur kisses Merlin again, and kisses Merlin until he cries out with desire and his body arches up against Arthur's. 

_iii._

Arthur tells Merlin that he's going to fuck him in every possible place on the ship, fuck him until he can't think of anything but Arthur, until every one of his first memories of that ship are of being with Arthur. 

Arthur's favorite place, though, and his best memories are of the nights he spends in Merlin's bunk, pressed up close to Merlin in the tiny space that the ship's mechanic can claim as his own. The room is small and warm, not much more than a bed and a few shelves.

Arthur leans down to kiss Merlin's forehead, nuzzles his sweat-damp hair and breathes in of engine grease and the clean, soapy scent of Merlin's skin. The ship's nocturnal cycle starts as the lights begin to dim and they're both sleepy and spent. It's always quiet in space, but the nights here seem especially quiet as the sky and stars stretch out around them.

"What did you do, all those years without me?" Merlin curls in closer when Arthur doesn't answer, tucks his head in against Arthur's shoulder. "Hm?"

The question cuts a little too close for Arthur's liking, because he knows this time, in this life, that even if Merlin doesn't remember anything else, even if he doesn't remember Arthur and all the other times that Arthur's come for him, he remembers his magic. And if he remembers that, and if the magic remembers him, then maybe Merlin will remember Arthur, too. 

"Merlin," Arthur says, and clears the rough, raw feeling from his throat. "I'm the captain of one of the best, most important ships in this system. Surely, even you can imagine that I found something to do before ending up on your space station." 

Merlin makes a soft, humming sort of sound and nestles his face into the crook of Arthur's shoulder. "All right. But you'll tell me someday. Though I think I've waited long enough already." 

"Someday soon, then," Arthur says and he knows it's true, he knows the day is coming when their lives will catch up with them, when they'll be who they were always meant to be, when all the spaces that they filled without each other will be filled with the days and weeks and years that they have ahead of them.

**Author's Note:**

>  _lacuna_ \- an unfilled space or interval; a missing part in a book or manuscript


End file.
